NFL 09 03 26

Hey, everybody. Welcome to this week's episode of the Underdog NFL Show. Chris Horvidell joined by Mario Hines on location in beautiful Azerbaijan. Mario, how are you? I'm doing great. Everything here is great. Thank you for sending me out. I look forward to reporting back on some of the soccer, football, excuse me, football. Mario, if you want, I will send you to Azerbaijan. That was my request right there. If that's what you're really looking for, I'll make it happen. I'm sure it's beautiful. Did just record an episode of Why We Love This Club about a team in Azerbaijan the other day. Cannot for the life of me remember what it was called, but that has more to do with me than the team itself. I'm looking now because I was thinking about this all day, how I immediately forget Garabag FC, FK, Garabag FK. It's one of those starts with a Q. So it's kind of kind of a weird. What does the K stand for? I would assume it is a football club. Oh, oh, it's not just interesting. I should listen to something I should know. Wikipedia, founding members of the Azerbaijan Premier League knew about that. Yes. Yep. Kluba. Excellent. K-L-U-B-E. Garabag. Oh, that's not how I pronounced it. So we'll see. Yeah. K-L-U-B-U. Football club. Oh. And technically it's a football. F-U-T-B-O-L. Oh, we're really getting in there. Really? Yeah, really. You got to send me. Yeah, well, I mean, there's some stuff going on there. But if you really want to go, probably make that happen, I guess. You do. You do have to go to Garabag FK and let me know how the stadium is. Of course. On site. They have two different. I believe it's in Agba. They have two different stadiums, one that they play their regular games in and the other that they play their European League matchups in. So it's going to depend on when you're there. And is this the one that was the. No, that's Chivas in Mexico. I forget what I do immediately. Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about. We have kind of real football. We're getting we're inching closer to real football next Wednesday, one week from today. How about that? As we do, we have Lucky Rebel Sportsbook open in front of us for all the lines, props and all of that other good stuff. I'm excited. I'm excited for football to be here. Proper. Me, too. At this point, like there's two things happening for me, a Lions fan right now. One, the general analysis is that, OK, Lions are back sort of deal. Don't like that. Too much hype scaring me. Then there's the Lions fandom who are now like desperately want that. What year was it? Maybe the twenty three team to come back so much or even like they can't fathom that a good team shapes itself differently every few years. And that's just what good teams do. So now we're hearing about the backup running back stuff. So that's annoying me. And I just want to get to game. So I'm excited to get to game so that everyone can talk about game stuff. Were there any cuts that you had any issue with in terms of the Lions? I was confused about the Dorch cut, but I'm not taking a back like I didn't know what to get out of him. I heard good things. He was the connection with of passing. And I'm like, OK, cool. But he's not on the team. And I didn't lose any sleep about it. You do have an authentic jersey, though, so that's going to be awkward. And you went out. Yeah, you went out and got that fast after they signed him to. Yeah. Yeah. I called them and said, can you get me this? Oh, wow. I didn't. Is that that is a game worn? Greg Dorchester. That's exciting. That is exciting. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I've the whole keeping four quarterbacks thing, which seems to be more and more in vogue in the NFL now for some reason, was a little bit weird for me for Philly, especially when one of them's Andy Dalton, because it's kind of like, what's the point? Yeah, because if he's a locker room support guy, you kind of have that in a few guys. So, yeah, I don't get it. And he's just not a good quarterback anymore. I mean, the argument's like, oh, you can trust him. But my argument is, can you? Yeah, no. Like, what are you what is the trusting about? Like, what are we talking about to be on time? Absolutely. Yeah. Well, and they also the Eagles also made a move that angered a lot of fans where they waived both of their highly thought of international pathway program players who are Bernard and Joshua Weru. Luckily enough, I didn't think there was any chance anybody was going to claim Bernard because I mean, I always was like him. I go back to that Bill Simmons quote about Giannis or God, not Giannis. I forget who it was. But regardless, the very famous two years away from being two years away. That's that's kind of how I feel about Bernard. He's just like there are only so many human beings on the planet that have that level of athleticism. And there's probably like a dozen of them. But he's just never played professional sports before. And it turns out it's not super easy to just play professional football where it did scare me, though, because has a little bit more of a background, played really well in the preseason. And physically, like he's also in that top zero point zero zero zero one percent just doesn't happen to be three hundred pounds, but got through. I was I was bummed that they wave Carson Steele, who I grew to love in the preseason, but they did end up picking him back up in the practice squad. Didn't really lose anybody. It's fine. And Jalen Hurst came out today and said, oh, yes, it's clear that A.J. Brown and I grew apart last season. He probably feels like shout out to him for feeling comfortable saying that it probably was really hard. He's developed so on his own, developed his stoic, say the right thing, never too high, never too low mentality, personal public perception. And he couldn't say the obvious thing that any sane person was witnessing. So it probably feels pretty good for him to be like, yeah, guys, I wasn't at the wedding because not so close or he wasn't at my wedding or whatever. We don't like each other. Yeah. It's like it's funny that two players who met during college maybe grew apart a little bit. Who would have thought it happens? It's OK. It is OK. It just sucks that one had to give the other the ball. Well, it's certainly true. How many people from college are you still close to? Do you count Facebook anything? Interaction? No, no. Well, none. No, I was literally 20 for my goals. I don't praise a phrase is probably the only one that I will consider close at this point. Oh, he's a Robert Morris guy. He's a Robert Morris guy. He didn't finish. Oh, my. I'm not just criticizing him here. No, no. I was just saying, like, don't look like I would like to break into that. Why now really dig deep into what happened during that experience for him? But like I have a couple of people I talk to once in a while, but I have more friends from high school than college. Right. That college thing. It's a tricky beast. Like maintaining those friendships unless you it's local or you stay local. It's tricky. It's tricky. Yeah. So the point of the story isn't to break down that, but rather, yeah, I don't I don't really hold it against either Jalen or AJ, quite frankly. No, the character thing isn't that they grew apart. I will say that much. I just speak to one. I think maybe it speaks to one of their characters that they grew apart. But who's to say which? Yeah. Yeah. Who's to say which? That's that's gracious of you. Could go either way. Next week, we'll be making actual picks for actual games. But oh, shit. We're going to be uptight against the actual start. Yeah. Yeah. I was I should have brought that up in pre. I was like, how are we going to question? And I could have easily googled this. This is the first time the league is starting on a Wednesday. No, I was surprised to learn it was starting. OK, I was surprised by a lot of things at the start of the season. One, I thought the Eagles had the first game of the season and I thought it was a Thursday. Neither of those things is true. I don't know why I thought that, but I did. I don't know. I guess we can find out. Let's let's I won't say what we're asking because it's become a bit of a hot button issue of late. But is I'm just going to say googling it. The first time the NFL has started on. Why are they starting on a Wednesday? Just Monopoly. They have a big Monopoly game scheduled for Thursday. You can specifically the two teams that are playing, I guess, booked for a Monopoly tournament. No, it's Goodell and Tagliabue. It's their yearly get Monopoly. I know. Yeah, shout out the actual. Well, Mario, the NFL season is the second Wednesday opener in history. I'm shocked that you didn't remember Cowboys Giants back in 2012. Oh, Jeremy Shockey. No, probably. Dallas won that game 24 17. It was moved from Thursday to avoid conflict with President Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention, because we know the giant overlap in the Venn diagram of hardcore political versus hardcore football fans. Basically, just one circle. There would have been no viewers of the game, unfortunately, or no viewers of the DNC, because, yeah, I would say the game going to say the game. I don't OK. I don't want to. How far are you going to go here? Yeah, that's a great question. That's a great question. Here's what I will say. I am not saying pro or con any political affiliation. I am simply saying that in a vacuum, that gentleman was an incredibly captivating speaker. Yeah, that when you did, you did pull your chair up to and see like, OK, I can take something away from this as far as I think I can. That is all I'm going to say. I remember, OK, this is the most political thing I've ever I'm ever going to say in my life. I remember and it doesn't speak to, again, my affiliation on one side or another, just that I remember being genuinely scared for our country that someone was going to try and take a shot at Obama during his inauguration. Yeah, because the country was divided on that one. And for the last time, we would be one people forever more. After that, we did not see we could not have seen what was to come. No, I mean, peace and harmony. We're not going to talk about politics anymore. Probably ever. I do want to make predictions about the NFL season. Sorry, I'm in a different headspace now. I want to make I want to make divisional predictions going into this. Let's take a look at the NFC West first. And we're going to use all as we're doing the lucky rebel odds here. The favorite lucky rebel to win the NFC West is going to shock you. Los Angeles Rams, number two, Seattle Seahawks, number three, San Francisco 49ers, number four, Arizona Cardinals. I'm going to ask you this for each conference, Mario division one. Who's finishing last? Who's finishing first? And will it be a contest? Ah, I like I like this NFC West. It will be a contest. It will be a contest mainly because it just doesn't work that way when it comes like what the Rams have in their pocket. It only worked that way once. And it still didn't work that way because Eli Manning. So I think it'll be a contest. Some guy named Eli Manning. The Cardinal. This is probably one of the easier ones as far as the last goes. The 49ers. OK. I assume you're going Cardinals and Rams to challenge for the division. I mean, when you talk about head to head, do you think the Rams lose one against the Cardinals? You're going to take Gardner Minshew or are you going to take Matt Stafford? I mean, that's a toss up. It's Minshew. Well, no, but I assume it will be at some point. Yeah, I'm like he really will pop his head into any organization and say, I'll play today. Well, he's there. He's the Minshew's to back up in Arizona. I assume he'll be able to. I assume he'll get a start at some point. Well, Beck isn't the back. No, Beck is the Thurston quarterback. Oh, my gosh. OK. I don't know anything about anything fair. I don't know how much I do believe in, like the Rams don't have to get settled in a sense. I don't know what's going to happen to Puka. I mean, there's this court stuff hanging over his head, but I'm sure the Rams are accounting for that. Yeah, I don't want to write off the Seahawks so much, even though I can easily say they're not going to win the Super Bowl again. But will they win the division? I feel like not hangover life. They're they're poised. They're like the kind of offense that or even team. I don't have any DBS. All right. I'm going ramps. I'm not sure they have. They have Trayvon Diggs and Terry and Arnold. Should he not go to prison for the rest of his life? That's another thing. I won't digress too much, but that's another thing these silly Lions fans are talking about, like how it's what was them that Terry and Arnold signed with the Seahawks? Like, let it play out. Let it play out. But yeah, he's not going to be making an impact for the Seahawks this year. I think we can comfortably say that. No, it makes me think like because the Seahawks are really standing by him. I'm wondering what they're missing because I'm missing something big. A private investigator, apparently not going to not going to shut out the cash for that. But I think the Rams will control the West for the most part. All right. Next up, the NFC East. Lucky Rebel has the Eagles to favor to plus one thirty, followed by the Dallas Cowboys at plus one seventy, the New York Football Giants at plus six fifty, and the commanders also tied plus six fifty. I mean, it's tougher with the like who's at the bottom. It's really tough. I believe that the Giants are better. I sincerely believe that, but I don't know what that actually means, especially if the commanders are a little bit better. But they their their training camp, you know, hasn't been strong in terms of injuries. Also, even whoever they walk out there, who knows if that seems good. My dilemma here is like with the Cowboys, I want to say they may give the Eagles a run, but they experiment with the with their receiver. Geez, his name is CD or DK. No, not DK. The kid. Yes. I just don't see that going well. And that's in the second half of the season. He was a really big part of why they were able to win some games. So, oh, huge. Yeah. So without if he does the thing he typically does, which is get bored with being in a decent place, then, you know, it's the Eagles division to lose. Well, did he did I miss him getting paid? I know. No, I mean, the franchise tag is to me is getting paid. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, well, it's a huge check. There's no question about that. But it's also something that can lead people to, no pun intended, check out because they're kind of not playing for this year, but rather trying to stay healthy for next year. Before I move on. I mean, in episode three, that was some good work right there. That was some good work, brother. I'm a pro. Thank you. Then I say I'm a bunch. The thing about the commanders, though, is with Tunsil out potentially for the entire year, I feel like that's just going to wreck their offense. Yeah. And they cannot. That's the one thing they cannot have is gaps at the O-line because they have a semi-fragile guy quarterback that can't take any hits. So, you know, I want them to be successful now. They have a semi-fragile guy quarterback who I think is going to go into next season being fully labeled a fragile guy. You don't think you don't think he gets through this year healthy? Oh, no chance, man. If I were lucky rebel here, I'm putting stays healthy through the season plus seventy five hundred. OK, let's go. Let's take it a step further over under games played at nine. Oh, that's interesting. It's just a matter of how early does he get hurt? Because I think he's going to end the season out now. That might be because they have no reason to play him at the end of the year. But I'm going to take the over if you would have said it. If you would have said it at ten, I would have been ten and a half would have been a number I had a problem with. OK, OK, OK. I'm with I'm like, you got to get double digits out of a dog like there's no way. But also if he got hurt week one, wouldn't be shocked. Real, real. Yeah, that's interesting. The Giants are a wild card. I think neighbors are healthy neighbors. They become what I think they can be. I do. I think I think Reese will be fun to watch. Yeah, that's not something you can you can fuck up. I know Reese is just going to be fun, but I just no one's competing with the Eagles, man. I'm not as confident as you are, but, you know, that's just me as a fan in general. Correct. I'm the Sixers literally have LeBron James now and I'm like, I don't know if it's their year. Yeah, I hate talking to you about your team sports. It's like I'm a bigger fan than you every year. It's not that it's just that I am so naturally skeptical. And I have this assumption that something terrible is always around the bend. So when sports, yes, like, yeah, LeBron will tear his ACL. And when that happens, he will fall going into Joel's knee. And that will be day. That'll be game one of the regular season. And then we'll watch Jalen Brown shoot a lot. That's what you want real bad, I think. Oh, so bad. Vijay's playing great. Vijay Vijay might get the Bahamas into the FIBA World Cup. So I'm psyched. I'm psyched for Vijay. The. All right. So Eagles win and commanders lose. Oh, I didn't pick one. Yeah, I'm going to have to pick commanders until I can see what what they end up being. The NFC South Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the favorite lucky rebel plus 160 new New Orleans Saints plus 275. Oh, God, I just hope I made that joke about the I mean, that joke about the Sixers. And then one of my buddies who always text me about the Sixers texted me and I was like, oh, fuck, did it all. Did I make that happen? But no, everything is fine. We're talking. You're talking about how screwed the Clippers are. And yeah, that's true. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers plus 160 Saints plus 275 Panthers plus 350 Falcons plus 400 at Lucky Rebel. Oh, another tough one. It's like they're all at the bottom. No. Right. Exactly. Oh, we're just floating like working hard to stay afloat, like just treading. No, I think statistically all of them are just underwater. Yes. All of them are like you can see the surface from where they are, but they are just all hovering just underwater. Not quite boating. You're not limited buoyancy in this division, man. Oh, man. Like who who seriously who sprouts in because no one no one did anything in the offseason or to me in the draft that put them in a place where you could be overly excited about them. Like the closest we talked about a bit was the Buccaneers, but they always find reasons. I think the Ruben Bain thing is going to be a disaster. OK, let me I got to stick to the task bottom. I think the Panthers fall from the top to the bottom, actually. And this is not like a free fall, though. Yeah, it's a game and a half difference. Seriously, like that's not even a punchline. Like, yes, it's going to be about that. And I think the Saints, they pick up where they left off last year, which feels weird a bit still. I mean, I wouldn't what they had seven and they had seven last year, eight last year, eight last year. Yeah, I could. Six and a half is a good number for them. And I would be conflicted. I like the offense. I don't. They signed a lot of people on defense. That is something I suppose. Bodies. They're like, hey, Devin Lloyd, you're good, right? Like, this feels very much like when Woody Johnson was asking his kid who he liked in Madden. That's that's how you go. That's how you go and sign Devin Lloyd. He's a 92 speed Madden. Go get him. Go get your guy and throw the house. Give up everything. Give him what he wants. All right. So Panthers at the bottom. And that I mean, right there, that that means that the Buccaneers win the division. Is it tough? I think, yes, but not for the sake of great football happening. And I know there's a there's a there's a elephant in the room, right? It's the Falcons. How could I not have the Falcons at the bottom? This is such talent that I know the quarterback position is so important, the most important position in sports most of the time. I just can't see like that talent being for a four win team. Right. Even if they look like that in sports, you know. Yeah, I hope we'll see what is what's what's B. John Steele? Five years. All right. Yeah, I just I'm more I don't know. I do not feel confident with this team. I don't think anybody feels confident with this team when you're talking to us, too. It might just be terrible at this point. Pennix might also be terrible, but at least they have a bunch of terrible left-handed quarterbacks. So that's something different, at least. And I figured that out, that part out like they know how to scout that they love their lefties in Atlanta. Moving on to the NFC North, the favorite lucky rebel, the Bears, plus 275, followed by the Packers, plus 325, the Minnesota Vikings, plus 425. And at the bottom, the Detroit Lions, plus 155. Yeah, I just I put this, you know, when you post something on X, it's forever, you know, is the Detroit Lions division to lose? I firmly believe that. I don't think, you know, any team, especially the Bears, looking at them dead in the eyes. I don't think any other team has gotten better. I think the Lions have gotten better. I don't think the Packers are that much worse. I don't think the Bears are that much worse. I think the Vikings are much worse than they think they are. And I think they lost somebody on defense. That was important. And I don't know if Harrison Smith is actually retired. Well, we're never quite sure about that, but we certainly do know that Micah Parsons is going to start the season on the IR. That was a big deal. So, yeah, it's all about how much of a lead can the Lions build in these first six weeks? And they should be, they should be okay, you know, in firm control. Last, that's going to be where it's going to be great games throughout most of the division. Very strong division this year. Last, I'm going to go, I'm going to go Vikings. As of four hours ago, Vikings open to a Harrison Smith return. What is that? Like they're open for him to decide still? No, it means he's going to be a Viking this year. Oh, I hate that. I was really hoping he retired. He's so good. I know, but how could he, I mean, you've got to start getting slower, right? He's never, he never like fast, fast, but it seems like he has not lost as much speed as you would think for somebody who is, I would guess 53 now. Something like that. He knows so much football that it is making him seem like I have lightning speed. Yeah. You do wonder, like, what kind of coach would this dude be? Yes. Yes. And you know what? They're probably setting that up because he seems, you know, he seems to have a good relationship with the entire staff, but my take here is that this is the year that that staff might get shaken up. You think, I mean, Kevin O'Connell was flirting with NFL coach of the year a couple of years ago. You know how quick this stuff moves? No, no, it was, um, my favorite coach of the year story is, uh, the Pistons coach who won coach of the year and still got fired. Yeah. They look that bad in the playoff. Bigger staffs are great higher. I like bigger stuff. Why can't I think of what his name was? He went to coach the Raptors after that. Yes. Oh my gosh. Pistons coach, coach of the year. Monte Williams. That doesn't feel right to me. Uh, Dwayne Casey. Ah, yes. Okay. Okay. Okay. Dwayne Casey is that guy same season, 2018. Yeah. Did I get it the wrong way though? Casey led the rat. He, it was the Raptors that fired him. I apologize to the Pistons. Yeah. Raptors 50 led the team to 59 and 23 in 2018 got fired that same summer. It was a terrible playoff run. Oh, it's the Raptors, but Hey, they have Kauai now. So he, and he's the one person that didn't get in trouble today. Exactly. Just has to pay for someone else's mistake. Did you see his ridiculous comment? No, I didn't see it yet. I'm a man of integrity and I take full responsibility dot, dot, dot for the poor judgments of those around me. Oh my gosh. Kauai is great. He's like, yeah, you had no idea that any of this was going on. That's why you took that below market contract because you're a good dude and a fun guy. Don't you guys see, I was making such little money and I could have been making so much more money. Very few times in my life have I been this excited to see it. The next episode of Pablo Torres show. I just, I can't, I can't wait to see Pablo tomorrow. All right. So where are we? NFC North. NFC North last Vikings winners, lions tough. I don't think it's going to be tough at the top. I think it's going to be tough. Wow. Card. What is your division finishing position? Exact order. Why are you doing this to me with this division? Uh, it's, it's the split. I just don't, as much as I don't believe in the bears Ascension, I don't believe the Packers are any better. And I just don't know how that fares when they're head to head. Uh, but I guess, I guess I just lean bears because they have the opportunity to be. Bears, Packers, Vikings, lions. Uh, I can't even pretend like I'm going with that. Where, what is that? That would be plus 2,800 at lucky rebel, by the way. Yeah. No one's going for that. Lions. If the lions are last, fire me from, I don't know. Here's what I will say. I will say the worst odds have the Packers last, not the lions. Interesting. What do they know that you don't? Yeah. Oh, Jared Goff. It's going to be a problematic year. Maybe he's just quitting to act full time. He was very good in Project Hail Mary. I was going to say, wait, because it seems like something he'd do. It does seem like something he would do. And like, shockingly would be low key, really good at it. I think he'd be a great actor probably. And it's weird because he seems to have no charisma, but somehow I think he's going to keep pulling off. Like he'd really lean into whatever the role is. What if he was just Jared Goff's, or Jared Goff's? What if he was just Ryan Gosling's stunt double? He just literally quit football to be Ryan Gosling's stunt double. In like very, very limited stunts. That'd be so cool. Oh yeah. In an animated movie. That's perfect. It's like, sorry, man. I've made my life decision. I'm going to be doing stunts for Ryan Gosling in Toy Story 6. Really excited. The AFC West, Mario Heinz. The Denver Broncos, the favorite at Lucky Rebel, plus 180. Kansas City Chiefs, plus 180. Tied for the top spot. Chargers, plus 210. Raiders, somewhere down the road at plus 1800. Kirk Cousins, named the starter. Those two things probably have something to do with each other. Yes, I can't believe they did that. Like, boo, I guess you have to. Kirk loved this, by the way. Yeah, I mean, he was guaranteed he was starting. There's no way. He doesn't sign otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Yeah, let's go with Chargers to win the division. Okay. We're going to go tough, tough outs with Kansas City. Kansas City gets in on the wild card. By the way, we're going to blow up the format. And moving forward, just give me, I want full division orders for every division. That's so weak. Okay. Chargers, one. KC, two. KC, two. Raiders, three. Raiders, two? You're a madman. Gosh, who am I forgetting? Broncos. Oh my gosh, no. Chargers, Chiefs, Broncos, Raiders. Yeah, this is the year the Broncos regress. Okay. This is the year the Broncos regress. They won't look bad. They won't look bad, but they will regress. And we can finally, hopefully you will. I'm still waiting to feel vindicated about Bo Nix, and I will this year. Okay. Broncos, three. And then, yeah, Raiders, Raiders at four. Fifth, if they could be. That is the third most likely outcome at Lucky Rebel. And we're going to add plus 160. God damn it, you can't parlay them. That was my whole point for making you do this. But whatever. We move on, and we move to the AFC West. The Buffalo Bills favorites plus, or pardon me, minus 180. Broncos, wow, not correct at all. The Buffalo Bills are the favorite at Lucky Rebel, minus 180, followed by the Patriots plus 265, the Jets plus 2,500, and the Dolphins plus 5,000. Most surprising thing to me about this is the perceived gap between the Jets and the Dolphins. Yeah, what do they think the Jets are? Probably the same way I think about the Jets right now. Wishful, delusional thinking. Sleeper Super Bowl team. I just don't get a little bit. I mean, I kind of get it, but no respect to the Pats. Like, you make the Bills earn it. Plus 165. It's not like- It's my favorite. Should they be, though? That's not what makes you say not. I feel like they overachieved. And the Bills underachieved? And I do think the Bills underachieved. And I also think maybe the Patriots got exposed a little bit in the Super Bowl. For sure. And I mean, maybe, allegedly, their cornerback, their best cornerback is on the market, but- Christian Gonzalez? Really? You think so? They just are not paying them right now, so. The Eagles were desperately trying to get Christian Gonzalez in an AJ Brown trade. The Eagles fans. I can't speak to what Howie Rosman was doing. I don't know. I'm going to go with it, though. I'm going to go Bills won because I do agree that the Patriots overachieved. I'm just like, why am I not going for the Patriots at one? That's a great question. Why are you shitting on me here? And then you're like, you know what? I agree. It's mainly because I'm like, I wanted someone to convince me that the Patriots deserve to be number one in the division after coming from the Super Bowl. But until Josh Allen is not the quarterback for the Bills, that's when they won't be number one in the division. I think that's the thing. And I just am not afraid to say it. We're going to give the Josh Allen-led Bills an opportunity to be worse until he's not the quarterback anymore. And I think he's at such a level that that's fair. Also, Super Bowl loser hangover is a real thing. It is. It is. It is. And I do expect it from both the Seahawks and the Patriots. I just expect less of a dip from the Seahawks, mainly because of hard knocks. Sure. Why do you say that? They do look like a well-coached team. And, you know, I just. Damn, shots fired, Mike Vrabel. Mike Vrabel had a pretty. I mean, this is how I ask the question. Can I ask? I'm not going to I'm not going to dox you right now, but it is Mike Vrabel at the resort. Have you guys are you guys spending some time on a rooftop is what I'm asking. That's so great, because as you were teeing that up, I did not connect that at all. And that was oh, that was great. And now I'm on the hunt for Big Mike. He had an interesting offseason, man. I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not going to undermine his coaching ability, but he was a little distracted, a little distracted. And and one of those people got lost their job. Oh, that sucks so bad for her. Bounce back. Get a get a podcast. Maybe I don't know. Join the crew. For the record, don't feel bad for her. I think he also should have been fired. But what are you going to do? Oh, OK. OK, that's that's where I should have leaned instead of her keeping her job. Yeah, I think I think the I think you want to fall on the side of morality there rather than just being like, I don't know, get a podcast. It's pretty easy. I do it. Leverage, leverage this new found. How do you I met? OK, I imagine she'd be excellent at booking guests. Oh, my God. She was. I'm just saying she knows a lot of people. She she is a people of people. She's a people pleaser. Yeah, I'm so sorry, Miss Rossini or whatever your name is. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Miss Rossini or whatever your name is. Well, that's not who I was talking about. Oh, for legal reasons. Yeah, no one. This is a no one thing. Gino Smith, the quarterback of a team in this division. You want to get all you want to get off of this? She knows with the savior yet again and again saving me. I actually do think the Jets are going to be. Sorry, I was just I was just I was just thinking, is there some way she could thank him for getting you off of that tangent? There's got to be a way you owe me. Whoever you are out there that we're not talking about. No, I'm not talking about anybody. Non-issue go, Pat's go. No, I don't think I can bring myself to say that, but I almost got you. I mean, OK, I'm going to get myself in trouble here, so. Well, this division is not a big joke, man, but the Dolphins are. I will say that they're going to be left in stock of the league this year. This is really the just trying to dig my own grave. So hopefully I don't. That's the title with political talk that that conversation. Yeah, that's everything's great. Everything's great. And we're going to move on to the next division, which is the AFC South. The Houston Texans, the favorite at Lucky Rebel, plus 125, followed by the Jacksonville Jaguars, plus 250. The Colts, 275 and the Titans bringing up the rear, plus 1200. Oh, shut. I like this. I like this one. I'm going. I'm with Lucky Rebel all the way here. I'm shocker, really. But I think I think CJ plays for his money this year and plays well. Defense is still in a good place. He's going to make receivers better. You know, he gets Nico back, but he'll make receivers better. And and I can I can be encouraged by that. Those Ohio State guys, they love their money. So I'm going to I think he's going to get it. Nothing wrong with that. Go get paid. So we got Houston second. Definitely. Is there a definitely here? I know that's like, whoa. Words mean things. Let's hope not, because then I'm going to be really in trouble. Yeah, you're screwed. I mean, the Titans are OK. There's a definitely here. The Titans, the type. OK, right. Titans, we can say it's number two. Titans, number two. No, no, no. Definitely less. But the great uniforms. They were going to look better. Yeah, I would almost have to. I would like to get him more weapons, though. I know. Carnell Tate, blah, blah, blah. But I want more. You want a vet? Why? Certainly wouldn't hurt this team of children to have a grown up in the room. They are such a young, but like, they're not even fun young. If we didn't go on a lot of the tangents that we did this episode, I would I would test you on what fun young means. Average, I've got to salvage this. No, the Falcons are fun. Young. No, not going to use that phrase. Two days ago, average age of NFL teams. All right. Here's a game for you. Who is the youngest team in the National Football League? It was the Bengals for a second. I will spot you that it is a bad team, and I will also spot you that number three is a fucking shocker to me. OK, so the bad team is the Dolphins. Number one, average age of twenty five point zero years old. Wow, that's crazy. When you think about how how hard pro football is. Yeah. Browns are number two. Twenty five point five inch. I would I would not have guessed them at two. Who do you think is number three? The one that is just like I said, a fucking shock. Chicago Bears. Bears come in at number 18. Twenty six point four. Oh, my God. I'll give you three strikes. And that was one of them. Or do I get three now? No, this is we play the standard three strikes, not four strikes. And you're out. This is in tic-tac-toe, which is also three, by the way. So I don't know why I referenced that. I don't know how you got tic-tac-toe either. Connect. I was looking for Connect four. Solid, which is a good game. And it is derived. It is a derivative of tic-tac-toe. It's basically tic-tac-toe. It's big. It's tic-tac-toe. You'll want. Yeah. Hey, you better trademark that quickly. Um, I think I can let it go. It feels pretty bad. It felt pretty bad coming out. Damn. Is it are the Chiefs? No, that's a terrible. It's Chiefs at three. Chiefs at three. Twenty five point seven. They flipped that roster so quick. Kansas City Chiefs. Two years. Detroit Lions come in at number eight. Twenty six years old. Philadelphia Eagles. Twenty six point four. Who? Oh, OK. This is a tale of two very different teams, my friend. Who are the two teams tied for the oldest average age in the NFL at twenty seven point one? Oh, who are these old fogies? Um, let's see. This does not bode well for one of these teams. The Rams. The Rams are twenty six point nine. Twenty eight years old. Twenty eight. Twenty eight overall. Are the Seahawks old? Seahawks. Twenty six. Twenty six point seven. OK, no, they're not. Steelers. Steelers tied for the oldest team. Twenty seven point one. Let me get this with the Raiders. No, they're young. Cowboys. Old team. Cowboys. Twenty two Raiders. Nine. Yeah, I know you're obviously joking around with the Raiders, but. Damn, you're going to be you're going to. It's another shocker because it's a bad team. They're bad. OK, that helped me because I was about to go good. You don't often see bad and old. That's not a good combo. That is the worst combo. Um, Jesus. Hold on. Are the Raiders old? The Raiders number nine. I think we said that. OK, I didn't say that. I'll give you one more guess. We have discussed them, but we're doing an NFL division preview, so. Falcons is is correct. Yeah, that's scary business. The Falcons. Twenty seven point one. The same average age as the Pittsburgh Steelers. Wow. And they have one guy really, you know, been in the curve for them. Correct. So if you remove starting quarterbacks, the Falcons are actually older than the Steelers. Correct. Bad news bears for that. Yeah, you don't want that. You don't want you don't want to be bad and old. All right. Where are we with the AFC South? Texans, Jags, Colts, the Titans. Yeah, yeah. Let's go. Let's go. We're going Texans. I'm with like you're able Texans, Jags, Colts, Titans. And I think the fight goes is the wild card again. I think I think Houston controls it. Final division, the AFC North Ravens, the favorite plus one of five. The Bengals plus 150. The Steelers plus 525 in the Browns plus 2500. I am going on a leap here. I'm willing to be wrong. So I'm putting that out there for this long recording season ahead. So no, I think the Bengals win the division this year. I'm going Bengals one. OK, yeah. Ravens rookie head coach, I think, takes his lumps. We'll go Ravens two, Steelers three, Browns four. Dogfight for that Bengals divisional championship. But I think they pull it out. So Joe Barrow remains a Bengal for another year. Yes. I know we talked about if he doesn't do well, he's gone. And I just he basically said that. Yeah, and I don't I don't blame him. I don't blame him. And it's just I can't picture it, even though it's the right thing to do. And I would agree I can't. I would need more landscape. So my only my only option now is to believe that they they get it together. Well, I'm hoping they don't because I would like to trade this five first round picks for Joe Barrow, please. Joe Barrow can't be an eagle because that's something that's very possible in the way shit happens. So I don't want to think about it. That's why I'm already putting it out into the world, because eventually it'll be real. And here's an interesting question. And I brought this up the other day on another show. Let's say the Philadelphia Eagles trade for Joe Barrow this offseason. The day he walks into the training facility. Is he the most talented quarterback in Eagles history? Yes. And that's saying a lot because Randall Cunningham was hyper talented. Joe Barrow is just the best. I agree with you. Damn, that's exciting stuff. As a football fan, that's exciting stuff. Well, we have to wait till next year to see that. But soon enough, get your Joe Barrow jerseys ready for the Joe Barrow Eagles. All right. Because this isn't necessarily the same thing. Let's let's get the division win at the conference winners. The conference winner of the NFC North will the NFC will be Mario Rams. Rams are the favorite at Lucky Rebel plus 230. The division winner, the conference winner. I don't know why I have such a hard time with this conference winner of the AFC will be Kansas City Chiefs are back. Y'all gross. It's talk about a Super Bowl where I have no one who I can root for. Sorry, man. I had that bullshit. Like, I don't I don't want to do that again. I can do Lions Chiefs that we should have had a couple years better. I'll pay. I'll take it. At least I would be happy for the Lions to win. We can do Eagles Chiefs one more time. Look, I'll take it. But all right. And the and the Super Bowl champion is Kansas City Chiefs. The Kansas City Chiefs plus 1500 favorites at Lucky Rebel. Make you some money. Make you some goddamn money. All right. Well, I think we've accomplished a lot here today. You can get back to commiserating over being in a tropical destination. And that's going to be it for this week's episode of the underdog NFL show for Mario Hines. I'm Chris Wardell. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time.